What makes a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the kid.
What makes a great parent isn't only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be ideal. No one is perfect. No kid is ideal either … keeping this in mind is important when we set our expectations.
Successful parenting is not about achieving perfection. But it doesn't imply that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set high standards for ourselves first and then our children second. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Here are 10 suggestions that will help you be an even better parent, learn effective parenting skills, and avoid bad parenting.
Some people are not simple or fast.
It's improbable that anyone can do them on a regular basis.
Although you may not necessarily do all of these things, but the tips in this parenting guide will help you move in the right direction.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't simply tell the child of yours everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is showing them.
Human is an unique species in part because we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and integrate them into our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
Thus, function as the individual you would like your child to be - respect your child, show them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - as well as your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There is no such thing as loving your child a lot of. To love them cannot spoil them.
Only what you decide to do (or give) in the title of love can - things like material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over protection. When these things are given in place of love that is real, that is when you'll have a spoiled child.
To love your child can be as easy as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and hearing your child's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to trigger the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a full sense of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the kid, will develop resilience and also not to mention a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we are. They're "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be able to see positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them positive attention. Drive through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with a positive mind-set.
These positive experiences create excellent neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories individuals that your kid carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it's possible by using positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach the child of yours the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind whenever you set rules and enforce them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And make it a chance for them to find out for the future in a positive way, instead of to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Let the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to the needs of theirs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a warm and safe place for your child to explore from and return to.
Kids raised by parents who are consistently responsive tend to have much better psychological regulation development, interpersonal skills development, along with mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us already know the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours as well as listen to them thoroughly. By maintaining an open line of communication, you'll have a better relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there is an issue.
But there is an additional reason behind communication. You help your kid integrate various parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to have a trully healthy body. When various regions of the brain are incorporated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better psychological well-being.
To accomplish that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't have to offer solutions. You do not have to have all of the answers to be a good parent. Just paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
Many of us want to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even people who had an excellent upbringing and a happy childhood may wish to alter several aspects of how they had been brought up.
But really frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak the same as the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding why we parent how we do. Make note of things you'd like to change and think of just how you'd do it differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be mindful and change the behavior of yours next time those issues come up.
Don't quit in case you don't succeed in the beginning. It will take practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Focus on Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief also.
Pay attention to your own well being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or the health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. If you don't pay attention to them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Make time to strengthen the relationship of yours with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child mentally and physically will make an impact in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short-term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The child is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking your child is modeling to the child that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is more vulnerable to fighting along with other children. They are more apt to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later on in life, they are additionally far more likely to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are a variety of more effective options to discipline which have been shown to be much more effective, such as positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's the goal of yours in raising a child?
If you're like the majority of parents, you would like the child of yours to excel in school, be productive, be responsible and independent, be respectful, enjoy positive associations along with you and some, be to care and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and also satisfying life.
Though just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you're like most parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate the life of yours, the next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or the child of yours.
Rather, find ways to switch each bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be turned into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's already known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting strategies, traditions, or practices have been scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for increasing a kid and information that are supported by science, here's one of my favorite science based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all approach. Every child differs. Quite possibly within the best parenting style, there can be a variety of effective parenting practices you could choose according to your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You are able to choose a non-punitive discipline method that actually works ideal for your child.
Naturally, you can also decide to use "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also might still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments respond to https://parentinghowto.com/ the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those people who are less prone may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. But it does not mean those practices are great. These children are simply fortunate. They can thrive despite poor parenting, not because of it.
Why take a possibility with sub-par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on the part of yours in the short term but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is hard, it's also very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come much later than the effort. But if we try our best today, we'll eventually reap the rewards and also have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!